Welcome to The HumanFactor, my monthly newsletter where I share actionable leadership and culture-building insights from my work coaching Fortune 500 executives, non-profit leaders, and founders.

If you're looking for my leadership cheatsheets and frameworks, the link to the library is at the bottom of this email!

You speak up in a meeting. Silence.
Minutes later, someone repeats your point.
This time it's met with approving head nods.

It stings, but why?

This isn't just frustration. It’s a signal that your need for status is being threatened.

When you feel emotionally hijacked at work, it’s easy (for us and others) to label it as "overreacting." But often, your brain is reacting exactly as it should. It’s trying to protect a core psychological need.

As a leader, learning to recognize these needs is not just helpful,  it's essential.

That's where the SCARF model comes in.

What is SCARF?

Coined by David Rock, the SCARF model outlines five core needs that drive human behavior, especially in social and professional settings:

• Status

• Certainty

• Autonomy

• Relatedness

• Fairness

When one of these is threatened, you experience a threat response.

When one is reinforced, you feel more engaged, open, and resilient.

Let’s break each one down:

Status

Trigger: You are interrupted or your ideas are credited to someone else.

Need Threatened: Your sense of importance or value.

Ask Yourself: How might my need for status be shaping how I show up as a leader?

Try This:
I'd like to finish my thought, then I'm eager to hear your perspective.
I appreciate you building on the idea I shared earlier about X.

Reframe: Focus on impact over credit.
For example: When I see my idea taking root in the organization, even without recognition, the real win is the positive change it creates.

Certainty

Trigger: You find out about a major change through a public announcement.

Need Threatened: Your ability to anticipate and prepare.

Ask Yourself: What unknowns are draining my energy, and which can I actually influence?

Try This:
Can you walk me through what we know so far, so I can prepare my team?

Reframe: Lead with clarity, even when you don’t have all the answers.
For example: When I share what I do know with my team, it builds trust and gives us a starting point, even in uncertain conditions.

Autonomy

Trigger: You're micromanaged on tasks within your expertise.

Need Threatened: Your sense of agency and control.

Ask Yourself: Where do I feel constrained, and what choices do I still have?

Try This:
Let’s find a check-in cadence that gives you confidence and lets me work effectively.

Reframe: Build trust by showing consistency and ownership. 
For example: When I proactively share progress, it signals competence and earns me more space to lead in my own way.

Relatedness

Trigger: You’re left out of key conversations. Backchannels dominate.

Need Threatened: Your sense of connection and inclusion.

Ask Yourself: Who in my circle really understands what I'm navigating?

Try This:
I noticed I wasn't included in the conversation about X. Can we sync on how to stay aligned?

Reframe: Strengthen connections before you need support.
For example: When I invest time in small moments of connection, I build relationships that carry me through complex decisions later.

Fairness

Trigger: Some voices dominate while others are ignored.

Need Threatened: Your belief that the system reflects shared values.

Ask Yourself: How might others see this situation differently? What would I learn by asking?

Try This:
I'm concerned that this process doesn't reflect our values around inclusive decision-making.

Reframe: Focus on improving the system for everyone.
For example: When I advocate for inclusive decision-making, I’m not just seeking fairness for myself, I’m reinforcing it as a norm for the team.

Final Thoughts

Your emotional response is feedback. Before you manage your reaction, understand its message.

The SCARF model gives you a vocabulary for self-leadership. Once you know which need is activated, you can respond with clarity instead of reacting from pain.

Which of these five needs feels most present in your world right now?

♻️ If this brought something into focus, send it to someone who might need that same clarity.

💾 Save it for the moment leadership asks more of you than you expected.

In Case You Missed It

I post regularly on LinkedIn. Here are three posts readers loved this month:

Thank you for reading!

Know that I am here for you and your leadership journey.

With love and support, Michelle

Cheat Sheet Library

p.s... As promised, click the button for my cheat sheets on feedback, supporting your team, navigating uncertainty and more!

Whether you're looking to transform your own leadership or develop stronger leaders across your organization, let's talk about the culture change you're ready to create.

myfactor partners with Fortune 500s, non-profits, and founder-led ventures on leadership transformation that lasts. We help leaders build cultures where trust isn't optional, it's operational. Because sustainable results come from relationships that work, not just strategies that sound good.

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